bigideas

Aren’t we just loving the story about MPs’ expenses that the Telegraph cheerfully eked out to us over the course of last week? Yes we are! But why?

Obviously it’s a huge waste of taxpayers’ money, isn’t it? Well. Let’s look at some rough numbers.

According to the spreadsheet of MPs’ expenses on the Guardian’s web site, the total expense bill last year was £93m. According to a briefing note published by the Institute for Fiscal Studies, total tax revenue for 2008 was 545.5bn, which amounts to £10,900 for every adult in the UK.

I don’t think it’s a huge jump to surmise that MPs’ expenses cost each of us, on average.

10,900 × 93,000,000 ÷ 545,500,000,000 = £18.58 per annum

Now, let’s be pessimistic and assume that half of all expense claims are unnecessary and could be cut out by having a more rigorous process in place. That would save each of us, on average, about 9 quid a year, some of which would have to pay for all those consultants to implement that shiny new process. In other words, we’re not talking about a lot of money.

Nevertheless, this has been the only domestic political story the UK news media has been interested in for over a week now. Why? Because it’s entertaining. It’s like one of those prurient MTV shows where we get to rummage around inside a D-list celebrity’s house. Check out Dawn Butler’s jacuzzi! Richard Younger-Ross’s cool stereo! Chris Huhn’s trouser press! Jaqui Smith’s bath plug! Big fat Prezzer’s thirteen quid a day food bill! (“No wonder he bought two lavatory seats,” joshes our athletic friend Simon Heffer).

Part of what we’re relishing about all this is, I think, the embarrassment it’s causing. It’s okay, though, because they’re in the public eye, which makes them legitimate targets. Imagine the Tele’s outrage if the government sposored research into journalists’ expense claims, and ended up obtaining “credit-card numbers, computer passwords and telephone numbers” into the bargain. But politicians, like TV presenters, are fair game: as with a pap shot of Paris Hilton staggering out of a club at four in the morning, it’s OK to laugh because rights to privacy and dignity don’t apply to everyone. Don’t be distracted by the fact that newspaper readers are generally getting angry about the expenses stories rather than laughing; that’s a form of entertainment too.

I hope we enjoy this rolling reality TV show while we can; meanwhile it may be doing lasting damage to the reputation of parliamentary democracy in the UK. The worst-case scenario is that the electorate’s long-standing cynicism about mainstream politics becomes all-consuming. That could well lead to a growth in power of an alphabet soup of single-issue, sometimes extremist factional groups. Do we want to risk even a small swing in that direction? For nine quid a year and a look at Shahid Malik’s kitchen? Really?